Friday, December 29, 2006

Movie Review: The Sentinel

Title: The Sentinel
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: Clark Johnson
MPAA Rating: R
Excellence: 1 Star

Why: An utter waste of time.
Summary in a sentence: Cardboard plot supported by actors who don't really look like they want to be there.

There are times when you are virtually forced to watch TV or a movies. The former occurs in waiting rooms when I don’t have my handy dandy TV-B-Gone. The latter occurs on airline flights of 9 1/2 hours to Buenos Aires, and after finishing my 5th book in 5 days, I decided to give in.

So I saw 24 meets In The Line of Fire, or the misnamed The Sentinel. Should have been named “I can’t play any other roles other than something involving law enforcement, the President, and some grave threat, with my character having issues with females” or “Kiefer Sutherland comes back to the big screen…as Jack Bauer” or “If you buy Michael Douglas as a Secret Service Agent, see this movie!” In regards the last musing, it’s fair to say that we gave Clint Eastwood’s Frank Horrigan in Wolfgang Peterson’s In the Line of Fire some slack, so why not extend the same courtesy to Mr. Catherine Zeta-Jones?

This movie is not deserving of any review, but being forced to watch it, I feel compelled to warn off even the casual viewer, who may, as in my case, be caught between an aisle and a bulkhead.

This movie is a yawner. And not your normal yawn either, I’m talking about your industrial strength see-if-you-still-have-your-wisdom-teeth-in yawner. The plot is incredibly weak and flimsy, and the biggest stretch of imagination required on my part is believing Eva Longoria joined the Secret Service. Yes, and Stephen Hawking is leading Seal Team 6. Pass the smelling salts, Alice.

The movie starts with some Tony Scott-esque editing of photos and scribblings and chatter of a would-be assassin. Then we start with a fairly “presidential” tracking shot, starting at the gate and going all the way into the White House. Nothing we haven’t seen on the The West Wing. (And The West Wing did it better). After that, it’s pretty much a race to see how quickly you can drop your chin on your chest. Throw in one completely pointless extra-marital affair on Michael Douglas’ part (with the President’s wife, Kim Basinger, no less), and you’ve got one of the three worst movies I’ve seen in the last 5 years.

Thumbs down to everyone involved in this, they should be on SAG probation as punishment.

No comments: