Complementary

"Do you always do that?" she asked.  I had just ordered our meal.  Before the waiter had arrived she had told me what she decided on and I had said, "The lady will have..." followed by my own choices.  The waiter was walking away and I was closing my menu when the question reached my ears.  I looked up.

The light in her bright blue eyes corresponded to the tone of voice that indicated that a positive answer to her question would trigger at least slight irritation.

I paused and suppressed a smile that could be mistaken for condescension.  The smile, a natural expression for me, broke through anyway to stall while neurons rapidly ferried responses and hypothetical reactions between the decision and proposal centers of my brain.  Chessmate, a helpful computer program for the aspiring player, categorizes moves by percentage.  Post-game analysis uses these breakdowns to judge matches.  Alas, there was no chessmate for this situation.

There was the non-confrontational (but mendacious) typical first date answer of "No," delivered with a shrug and nonchalance, with the hope she wouldn't pursue it.

There was the worst possible answer, which would involve the use of "Of course," delivered semi-dismissively and with little to no eye contact.

Neither of those options appealed to me on any level.  I deflected.

"Why do you ask?" I asked, with a lightly earnest tone.

"I just...I am just not used to a man ordering for me..." She trailed off, the slightest look of distaste creeping into her countenance.

"...and you don't like it," I finished, with the slightest hint of a smile.

"No."

"So do you dislike men opening doors, paying for the meal, walking..."

"No," she interrupted.  "That's all fine."

I paused.  There was a logical disconnect there.  The construct she accepted was that men and women were not "equal."  They were complementary.  In this construct the hunter-gatherer would provide for, shelter, and care for the female.  We are long out of the cave so such an attitude is aptly conveyed by opening doors for women, walking closest to the street when you are both outdoors, paying the bill, and later in life, buying a ring, proposing, and taking legal and financial responsibility for her.  I know, I'm such a Neanderthal for even thinking such crimestop.  But indulge me a bit further.

"So you're okay with my paying for dinner, just not my ordering for you."

"Right," she smiled, sensing victory.  I waited just long enough, hoping she might see the gap, but a gentleman never insists on non-essential issues, and I said, "Okay, I won't order for you, anymore."

Shiny New Travel

Part of the thrill of travel is seeing everything with new eyes.  The sights, the smells, the words - everything is unfamiliar.  This is a sensation that those of us who enjoy travel crave.  It's as if our senses are on fire: bombarded in every way and enjoying simply standing in that warm downpour of input.

But this wears off - and it's well that it does - for it is surely only the wrapping paper of any new place you visit.

Last Christmas (seems ages ago now) I visited London.  This was my 4th visit and I never would have told you on my first visit in 2009 that I would come to so thoroughly enjoy this city.  But Big Ben and Tower Bridge weren't shiny anymore.  This actually freed me to do things I couldn't on previous visits.

1 Buckingham Place
This inauspicious address in Central London, roughly a mile from the Palace of the same name, was where The Prisoner, as portrayed by Patrick McGoohan, was originally abducted from.  For those of us who know and love the 17-episode series from the 1970s, this address is must-visit in London.  But there's nothing glamorous about it.    It was Boxing Day when I stopped by but I suspect it's always quiet.

The Gielgud
Surely those involved in the theatre always make a visit to the West End to take in a play as a mandatory part of their stay here.  I've always enjoyed plays but my previous visits never really allowed for them, and with the holidays, it wasn't easy to catch a show.  But - it can be done with a minimum of effort and a maximum of savings (LSBO).

The Emirates 
My obsession with soccer has followed a meteoric rise that probably got its impetus from the unbelievable rise of Sporting Kansas City.  I went back to playing recreational soccer, started following other leagues, and began picking teams to follow.  One of those leagues I started to follow was the Barclays Premier League and the team I chose was Arsenal (for a number of reasons I'll talk about some other time).  On previous visits to London I had not been as obsessed and more importantly, had not been a member.  Being a "member" of Arsenal for the annual fee of 30 pounds allowed me to purchase tickets internally at face value or via TicketExchange for a higher rate (you also get some swag and a members' only scarf).  The upshot of this is to tell you I got to see Arsenal play Chelsea without emptying my bank account.

The weather was horrid, Chelsea bunkered, and it ended in a nil-nil draw, but I had an unbelievable time.  I chanted along with the crowds, hearing in person the chants I had only ever previously heard through the television.  Later in the week I came back for a tour of the stadium - an absolutely magnificent facility - and got an even larger appreciation for just what it has taken for Arsenal to survive and thrive since 1886.

I'll be back soon - for a Champions League fixture perhaps - or maybe - if our run keeps up - the FA Cup Final at Wembley.

Shiny new travel is always a great time.  But so is the comfort of old leathery travel.  The kind that lets you really get into the soul of a city that a three-day trip can only skim.

The Chasm: Why we can't even seem to have a discussion about homosexuality

Over the years I've learned that facebook is hardly the place for reasonable discussions of any serious matters.  Tempers flare white-hot instantly, and the cold anonymity of cyberspace (or at least the lack of having to actually work through an issue in person) allows people to say the most vile and thoughtless things.

If 2013 had one burning political issue that affected the United States, the United Kingdom, and France, three countries I at least keep a minimum of political tabs on, it was the discussion of "marriage equality."

All of the debates and mostly worthless articles I read on the subject always assume that this is simply some public policy issue, like segregation, or taxes, or military spending, when the reality is that it was nothing of the kind.  The issue, and what lay behind it, revealed the incredible chasm between those who consider faith a legitimate source of knowledge and truth, and those too "enlightened" to be anything but condescending to the benighted souls who still believe in the Uncaused Cause and His laws.

And so, if I am finally to speak on this issue then my discourse must begin with my points of departure.  At each of these points I will lose people: i.e. our disagreement on this or that major principle will cause disagreements on all later minor principles that are logical consequents.  Hence, wherever you like you can say, ah, that's why I don't agree with Stephen on "marriage equality" and de-friend me or stop reading or whatever you'd like.  But if you fancy yourself truly open-minded, read to the end to find out what someone who takes God at His Word actually thinks.

1)  I believe that this universe and world was created ex nihilo by a loving God who has given us the ineffable gift of life.  This staggering gift daily reminds us that our life is not totally our own.  All we do should keep the glorification of God foremost.

2)  I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He founded the Catholic Church to help souls get to Heaven.  The Church prescribes guidelines and laws not only to help in the spiritual life, but also proposes solutions to our civil life in order to maximize happiness, contextualize suffering, work for social justice, and to create virtue in society.

3)  Governments, in a subsidiarial relationship to the Divine authority of the Papacy, also stand to be helpers towards the ultimate goal of salvation.  Government is far from a "necessary evil" or a "problem" but is indeed a positive good and legislates morality all day long (e.g. murder and theft are not tolerated, but punished).

4)  Church and State should not be separated.  They work best hand-in-hand.  The State should support the interests of the Church and vice-versa, within reason and sensibility.

5)  The word "homosexuality" does not even exist in some cultures and is nearly unseen in the animal kingdom.  This non-religious metric applied against a number of cultures worldwide indicates that homosexuality has never been considered "normative."  More importantly than this, homosexuals cannot consummate a normative sexual act.  Their acts have no corresponding biological purpose and quite literally they cannot help society continue its most basic end: continuance through reproduction.

6)  Apart from offending the natural law, a point on which numerous non-religious people agree, homosexuals violate the law of God, whose words in Scripture, in both the Old and New Testaments, condemn homosexuality in the harshest of terms.  Surely God punished heterosexuals, but Sodom and Gomorrah were explicitly destroyed for their unnatural, unclean practices.

7)  The Church teaches, and therefore, so should governments reinforce, that all such unions are not simply unnatural, but corrosive to good society.

8)  For those who would argue that heterosexuals destroy marriage, I agree, which is why pornography, contraception, abortion, and divorce should be outlawed.  If people choose not to be virtuous, that is one thing.  To get state-sanctioned support for their immorality is another thing entirely.

9)  And finally, for those who think a principled stance against a "lifestyle" is undergirded in hate, rather than a burning love of God and a desire to obey His law (and to help one's neighbor obey those laws), I simply ask you to realize that you may have your own convictions that are as deeply held as my own, but to accept that I do not rage against you.  I do not hate you.  If my arguments do not move you, I can always pray.  I wrote this so that you know where I am coming from.  If we understand where we are supposed to start we can begin to understand how this will end.

Why I still love America

When you keep journals you often have a chance to go back and read things you had written some time ago.  Sometimes you agree with every last word.  Other times you wonder what you could possibly have been thinking.  This piece was written almost 5 years ago, in mid-2009.  Surely it must have been  some particular event that caused me to sum up my feelings for my country, but I don't recall what that event was.  For your consideration...

Why I still love America...
...despite a dollar printed by a private cartel
...despite an unjust war which will last a decade before in ends in Iraq
...despite a military ethos that believes that at least 800 worldwide bases are necessary to maintain and support our empire
...despite the continuing cover-up of numerous government deceits, including the foreknowledge of Pearl Harbor's bombing; the murder of President Kennedy and his brother by among others, the CIA; the foreknowledge of the bombing in Oklahoma City by the ATF; and the controlled demolition of WTC 1, 2, and 7 on September 11th
...despite an income tax that was never truly ratified
...despite a one-party system disguised as a two-party system in a false left/right paradigm
...despite choices we've made that have condemned our cities to rule by the automobile
...despite a "health care" industry that survives by feeding us endless pills
...despite the fact that our government outlaws a plant that can be used to make clothing, rope, and paper, and grows everywhere, and has helpful medicinal qualities, and that this outlawing occurs to allow drug companies to keep their vicelike grip on how we treat our illnesses
...despite the fact that over 30 million of our fellow countrymen have never been given the chance to live and die because their chances were stolen from them by abortion, and that we promote abortion and sterilization with our tax dollars worldwide.
...despite the fact that we have no sense about the most basic things in life, especially food.  We pay no heed to where our food comes from or what goes into making it, or how deeply processing food robs it of its essential nutrients
...despite the fact that we prop up dictators worldwide while pretending to be the bastion of democracy

...I still love this country because...
...we are not prohibited from believing in our religion
...we are, with whatever gifts and talents God has given us in combination with the means at our disposal, free to pursue nearly everything we would like to do
...we are possessed of a land of unequaled natural beauty, from the Great Lakes to the Keys, from the Sierras to Frost's yellow woods of New Hampshire.
...we are a people uncommonly optimistic and generally hard-working, and despite our often blatant irreligiousness, believe that this life is not a cosmic accident
...we, despite numerous shortcomings, accept race as part of a person's identity and have a more heterogeneous culture as a nation, and while individual cities worldwide may be more diverse, given our enormous geographic size, we are quite diverse as a country
...when we perceive we are on the ropes (perhaps only then), we rise to the occasion with a will to triumph
...we, despite the prevalence of ignorance and a population distracted by celebrity, still have so many people who are awake, active, and engaged
...that more and more people are thinking about the scarcity of our resources, despite what is true or not about peak oil, and that is changing habits that will make for better lifestyles
...that in modern times we have escaped the true horror of war on our own shores and have relative peace and security in our daily lives

I look back on this journal entry and still agree with all of what I wrote, which is rare.  In my 35th year of life on this amazing planet that God has been so good to give us, I can truly identify America as my home, and while I am enjoying every minute of my European adventure, after living on three different continents, there's nowhere else I want to live for the rest of my life, than in the heart of the New World.